Lesson Two 1 2 3 4 5
Children Come Into Our Homes With Connections
All children have a biological connection with their birth families. Children, unless they are very young or an infant, mayl have an established relationship with their families. Children have connections to sibling, to extended families, to culture, and perhaps neighborhood.
The job of the social worker and the resource parent is to help children keep their connection to their birth families when appropriate or when reunification is the plan. Think of connection and contact on a continuum. It can range from a simple recognition that a child has another family, to the active support of helping visitations happen, to a development of a relationship between resource family and birth family. What is right for a child will vary.
Following is a list of suggestions taken from the work of Pat Ryan of the University of Michigan and Vera Fahlberg, a pediatrician and consultant in Washington to help children keep connections with their families. We have also included suggestions taken from the Annie E.Casey Family to Family Project from the Handbook Family to Family: Tools for Rebuilding Foster Care, March 2002. Visitation will be covered in depth in Lesson 3
Please note, these ideas must be compatible with the child’s visitation plan. We have listed the suggestions from use early in the placement where they may be limited contact to later in the placement where contact occurs often. If you are unsure if something is allowed, talk to your caseworker.
Help Your Child With:
Taking photo of the child with birth family to give to parents
Request pictures of the child's family to display in child's room
Talk with child about memories he has of his family
Remembering Mother’s Day and Father’s Day
Dress child up for visits so they look well cared for
Help a child write letters or draw pictures to send to parents
Help a child put together a scrapbook or a life book
Adopt a ritual or tradition from the child’s family to help celebrate holidays
Have child make pictures or write a story to share with parents at visits
Making or buying gifts for birth parents
Making allowed phone calls or allowing phone calls to child
Making a birthday cake or giving a birthday party for birth parents
Host or arrange visits with brothers and sisters
Showing parents grades, awards, etc.
Other Ways To Encourage A Parent To Keep Connected:
Make a family tree or scrapbook of photos for the child
Take the child to cultural events
Have different books, arts movies and magazines featuring the culture or race of the child
Learn about, understand and respect the birth parent's culture
Send the parents current pictures of the child
Refer to birth parent's child as "your child" in their presence
On visits, make it a point to tell the birth parent some compliment about the child
Ask birth parents about schedule or food preference of the child
Share copies of homework and report cards
Give parent verbal progress resports
Ask for parents input on clothes, toys, equipment or behavior change
Help parents find community resources
Include birth parents in school conference, Parents Nights, school plays
Ask parent to come to doctor or other care appointments
Invite the birth parent to dinner
For more of the suggestions given by the Annie E. Casey Foundation Family to Family Project, check out the posting called "Bridging The Gap of Separation Between Children and Their Families" at http://www.nysccc.org/linkfamily/Realities/Bridging.htm.